Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Truth of the Day #161: History does not predict the future.

Truth of the Day #161: History does not predict the future.

Our ego always wants to stay in control, and thus always makes assessments (often inaccurate ones), about what is "safe" and what is "unsafe". This means if we have one negative experience around something, ego determines that's how things are always going to be. But the ego sees things from a very limited viewpoint. You are not the person today that you were yesterday or 10 years ago. Neither are your family members or friends. The world is not the same place. And just because it rained yesterday doesn't mean it will rain today. So instead of using your mind to try and figure out the future (which keeps things really small, the mind is NOT very creative!), try opening up to the infinite creativity and potential that exists instead. Open your mind, take some risks, and CREATE a new future for yourself! ~xoxox, Niloofar




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Truth of the Day #160: Difficult people are showing us all the places inside where we still need to grow.

Truth of the Day #160: Difficult people are showing us all the places inside where we still need to grow.

I follow a lot of self-help and spiritual pages on Facebook, and if I see quotes about cutting negative people out of your life or "surround yourself only with positive people" one more time, my head might explode. It's sad when pages that are supposed to be spreading enlightenment instead spread ideas of the ego. The people we most often perceive as "difficult" are our greatest teachers. They show us all the areas where we are still struggling (with our self-esteem perhaps...or the areas where we are still in judgment and have not yet learned to see with eyes of love...or areas where we are doing the same things we accuse these "negative others" of doing but can't see it).

Just this last week I spent some time with a person who is "challenging" for me. But I recognized that it's not HER. It's me. And I chose to grow and rise to the occasion instead of cut her off, blow her off, or hide because it's easier on me. Easier doesn't mean better, and if I would have said no to this person, I would have missed out on a great growth opportunity! So thank you, Challenging Girl, for everything you've done for me! ~xoxox, Niloofar


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Truth of the Day #159: Judge less. Love more.

If all your self-help and spirituality is resulting in self-righteousness, you're missing the point. Keep studying
xoxoxo ~Niloofar

P.S. I'm still offering gift coaching sessions. That means we do a 50-minute session instant messenger chat or video chat and instead of paying my $130 fee, you can pay whatever you feel changing your life is worth Message me for an appointment!



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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Truth of the Day #158: "Follow your feelings" is bad advice much of the time!

Truth of the Day #158: "Follow your feelings" is bad advice much of the time!

Why? Because so much of what we feel is rooted in HISTORY and rooted in FEAR. There is a counselor superstar I've been following for a few years now, named Sheryl Paul. She specializes in "Engagement Anxiety" or people who, once they got engaged to their partners, totally started to doubt whether they were with the right person, whether they have enough chemistry, etc. Her work has expanded and now her website and blog and forum (which you get access to if you buy the ecourse) is a mecca for people who struggle with relationship anxiety and keep hearing from their friends that "doubt means don't" (WHICH IS NOT TRUE!) If you struggle with any of these issues, PLEASE check out Sheryl's blog and site at www.conscious-transitions.com There are so many amazing free articles there and the course was life-changing for me.

Anyway, the other day she posted this video of Dr. Pat Love, which sums up so much of what I'm working on with my coaching clients right now. It could be about relationships, about career, about anything! But feel the feelings, and do the right thing! Please take 5 minutes to watch this video and then let me know your thoughts!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNdGrXLcWqs 
 
P.S. I have a few appointment times available this week if you're interested in one-on-one coaching. I'm still doing the gift coaching, which means that even though my normal fee is $130 per session, you can pay whatever you feel the experience is worth 

  
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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Truth of the Day #157: Don't judge the whole road by the first few steps.

Truth of the Day #157: Don't judge the whole road by the first few steps.

I'm a fan of Ian Somerhalder on Facebook, and have been for a little less than a year now. I remember when i first "liked" him, he had 3 million fans. In a relatively short amount of time he's hit 10 million! The same goes for the Boo page that you should totally be following if you aren't already (Cute puppies!! Squeee!!). This reminded me of a quote I received in a Note from the Universe several months ago which said something along the lines of "The first few steps won't look like the last few steps". What great examples of how true this is. At first you may struggle to get even 100 fans (or workout for 20 straight minutes or meditate for 10 minutes or whatever measure of "success" you're trying to reach), and when you only have a 100 fans it takes a while to get to 200, then 1,000, then 2,000. But the more fans you get (or the more you work out or meditate, etc.) the more "shares" you get, the more people are out there spreading the word about you, and the more new fans you acquire. So it's actually EASIER to go from 9 million fans to 10 million fans than it is from 1,000 to 2,000. Catch my drift?

Success grows exponentially. It builds on itself. So you have to hustle in the beginning. You have to get through the hard parts. And there will always be NEW challenges down the road, but the payoff is all worth it! xoxox ~ Niloo

P.S. On that note, if my posts have been helpful to you, will you give them a share? 


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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Truth of the Day #156: Trying to take emotional responsibility for others will only end up making things worse.

Truth of the Day #156: Trying to take emotional responsibility for others will only end up making things worse.

Have you ever felt sick or nervous because someone you love is feeling sad or rejected? And then have you tried to step in and make it better? It's one thing to feel empathy and to try to cheer another up, but if you feel RESPONSIBLE for taking care of them, if their pain gives you anxiety or if you can't handle the other person having uncomfortable emotions, then you're not being loving, you're being controlling. Trying to take responsibility for other people is about manipulation. "I can't stand you feeling disappointed and rejected and it makes me feel afraid, so I need to control you and control all your feelings. I need to manipulate situations and manipulate YOU so that I don't have to deal with the discomfort that you being upset brings me."

Well, I admit, that in certain relationships I can be an emotional caretaker. And the last few weeks it seemed to be the theme and I learned a really BIG lesson. My lesson was that not only is this a sign of codependence and ego at work, but it also tends to make things WORSE! From now on, if you notice yourself trying to control everything in the guise of being helpful...STOP! TRUST that other people can handle their feelings and so can you! (And trust that even if someone is upset with you or feeling down, that the relationship is strong enough to handle it.) ~xoxox, Niloo 


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Monday, March 24, 2014

Truth of the Day #155: Share that which you want to hide.

Truth of the Day #155: "A significant amount of our suffering is caused by the belief that we're bad or wrong for having our thoughts and feelings, which then pushes them down into the dark regions where they fester and grow into shame." ~Sheryl Paul

I receive a newsletter from the PHENOMENAL Sheryl Paul (a counselor who specializes in relationship/commitment anxiety) and today she shared a passage from the book "Anne's House of Dreams", which I would also like to pass along:

In the passage, Anne's friend Leslie finally finds the courage to share that she's harbored envy of Anne from the moment she first met her. After she unloads her envy by disclosing the truth, she says:

"Anne, do you know, I believe I shall always love you after this. I don't think I'll ever feel that dreadful way about you again. Talking it all out seems to have done away with it, somehow. It's very strange - and I thought it so real and bitter. It's like opening the door of a dark room to show some hideous creature you've believed to be there - and when the light streams in your monster turns out to have been just a shadow, vanishing when the light comes. It will never come between us again."

Sheryl goes on to say: "Thoughts and feelings need to be seen and heard, just like everyone and everything else. How would you feel if you found the courage to be honest about what you deem shameful? What would lighten up inside of you?"

~xoxox, Niloofar


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